The answer’s in the here and now!
As lockdown eases it brings with it an array of emotions. For some it brings relief, for others anxiety, and for all of us – uncertainty. Just what is the ‘new normal’ going to look like? That is, assuming there will be a ‘new normal’. Because in this context, ‘normal’ suggests something solid, unshifting. An anchor that we can grab on to, so we can feel, well, ‘anchored’ – stable, rooted, and certain of where we are.
Like I said in my previous blog, us humans crave certainty, so the idea of a ‘new normal’ appeals. Even if we preferred the ‘old normal’, an anchor of some sort has got to feel better than being buffeted about by the waves, right?
In reality though, a ‘new normal’ is still a little way off. News of job losses and businesses folding are emerging daily, along with reports of Coronavirus resurging not just abroad but in pockets here at home. Tragically people are still dying, and none of us know when this incredibly frightening and unpredictable phase of our lives is going to end. So while we may wish to feel anchored and steady, the truth is we’re still very much a people in motion, whether we like it or not.
If you find yourself wondering ‘How can I stop feeling so anxious?’ or ‘How can I stop worrying so much?’ you’re not alone. But there’s good news. While the bigger picture may be out of our control, there are ways we can feel more anchored in our own lives.
Breathe your stress away
A really simple thing we can all do when we feel frightened, anxious or overwhelmed thinking about the future, is to bring ourselves right back into the present moment. The best way to do this, and lessen our anxiety along with it, is to learn how to breathe effectively. Now I know you’ve probably heard this a million times, but for good reason. Science proves that paying attention to our breath and learning how to breathe consciously actually calms down our nervous system, reducing anxiety and quietening any ‘fight or flight’ alarm bells that might be furiously clanging.
How to do it? Thankfully conscious or ‘paced’ breathing is a piece of cake. The name of the game is to inhale and exhale to a regular rhythm, so for example breathing in slowly for four counts, and breathing out for six. If four/six feels difficult for you, then find try a count of two/four instead. The key is that you breathe out for slightly longer than you breathe in. It helps to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, but again, do what feels most comfortable. To keep your focus on your breathing, you might find it helpful to count out loud, or maybe tap the rhythm on your wrist or thigh. The idea obviously isn’t to breathe like this all the time, but when you need to just slow down, calm your anxiety, and feel grounded in the present. Try it, it really works.
Shake your booty
Another great way to feel grounded is to take a seat – it doesn’t matter where or what on, but once you’re seated, really push your feet into the floor and feel the solid ground beneath you. Then while keeping your feet firmly planted, bring your attention to the rest of your body. Notice if your calf or thigh muscles feel tense, and how does the seat beneath you feel? Is it comfortable or is it maybe digging in your bum a bit? Have a wiggle, push into the seat a little and really feel it supporting you. If your chair has arms really grab hold of them. If it doesn’t, try grabbing the bottom of the seat, or if you prefer you can put a hand on each thigh and squeeze. What matters is that you can feel your hands firmly making contact with something solid. Then while your feet are firmly pushed to the floor, you are holding the arms of the chair, and can feel your rump and perhaps the small of your back pressed into the seat, maybe bring in the paced breathing discussed for a moment or two. Why? Because while your focus has been on your feet, your hands, your bum, your back, and now your breathing, you’ve not been worrying about the future, have you?
While these exercises won’t solve your problems, they can give you respite from the anxiety they cause, albeit briefly, and remind you that right here, right now, you’re OK.
For more tips on how to anchor yourself in the here and now click here.